Wednesday, 07 May 2008
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A long time ago in a corner store far, far away...
I have a story to tell. It begins at the back end of a tiny Mom and Pop corner store, past the Pepsi freezers and potato chips, past the overpriced assortment of sugar-laden candy concoctions, past the canned goods and canned not-so-goods. I was searching for a copy of the local paper to inspect the layout of this week's edition of Retro-Playback -- the print version, that is. (More on that in the coming weeks.) I couldn't find any, so I sauntered up towards the counter. Here, for you, is the gist of the conversation.
Me: Yo, where 'da pape?
Cashier: What?
Me: Me gotsta have my pape.
Cashier: Excuse me?
Me: Watchu been smokin', b****!
Cashier: Get out.
Me: Yo, you be trippin'!
Cashier: Now.Or something like that. The details escape me at the moment.
Anyway, I'd been here before. In a town as small as this, you don't have much choice. The place has a corner reserved for the sale of old VHS tapes, so while carefully avoiding the scornful glances of the woman at the cash, I sneaked into the back of the store to survey the goods. A surprisingly good collection this time around: old versions of Poltergeist I and II. Halloween. The Changeling. Airplane. As I stood there scanning the dozens of old tapes, however, something suddenly made me catch my breath. Surely, I hadn't just seen what I thought I'd seen. Or had I?
I blinked. A second glance confirmed the unbelievable, mind-blowing truth. A massive lump had crawled its way up from my stomach and into my throat, cutting off my oxygen supply. I didn't care. The dizzyness just added to the magic of the moment. There, sitting right in front of my eyes, and in this run-down corner store of all places -- where, God help me, they still play "Achy Breaky Heart" over the loudspeaker -- were Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi. The original VHS versions. In their original shrink wrap.
Hot damn, look at that beautiful old poster art! The CBS FOX logo! The ghastly Hi-Fi Stereo Sound banner! They sure don't make 'em like these anymore, kiddies. Forget the newfangled, digitally-created covers for the recent DVD releases. This is how Star Wars should be packaged.
So, the video quality's shit and the Hi-Fi Stereo Sound doesn't exactly live up to the hype. Still, I know what I'll be doing for the next six and a half hours...What about you?
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Comments (2)
Never assume that anything is really in the original shrink wrap, especially if you are buying it off e-bay. Shrink wrapping is not some mystical/magical process that can only be done once then never redone. It is quite easy and the equipment isn't that expensive. I doubt you were here, but many people get scammed by the "original packaging" pitch.
It's too bad the only way to watch the Star Wars Trilogy as it was meant to be is on VHS.